Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Fraust Dogger's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 5th, 2009
8:12 pm	Back to college yet again It's been forever since I last made a post (23 weeks according to livejournal) so I guess I'd better go and do something. Life has been crazy busy but sadly not terribly interesting. I'm taking three classes and picking up where I left off damn near three years ago now. While the classes are not very difficult, the homework they require is just a little over the line of ridiculous and it takes up a huge amount of time. The biggest issue, I think, is that people were used to me being available 24/7. I really dislike it that I'll have to wait 4-5 days just to spend a couple hours with a friend, or have it be weeks before I can have a normal conversation with someone online. Though between trying to be a GM and getting good grades, time for anything else is very limited and too random for me to really plan much of anything else. What I am worried about is a future where I have to work full time to support myself through school. Then there will be no games, no friends, and very little sleep. It is supposed to be the path to success, but I am not so sure if being successful in life is 100% about having an awesome job if it comes at the cost of every single other thing I've ever had in life. There should be some way to hold a healthy balance and hopefully I can figure it out and find it before that point comes. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Chopin - Prelude in C minor op. 28 no. 20 (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 28th, 2009
12:16 pm	Online Socializing Is there such a thing as a social etiquette when it comes to IMs? I've been trying to get into using them to talk to people the way I used to. The thing is so many different people have their own opinion on what they are used for. I'm the type of person that uses it almost like a phone call, I get a message, I give a message. Just a standard back and forth exchange. Though I always run into the person who sends a single message every 10mins, or the guy who writes rapid paragraph messages and then goes silent for long periods of time without so much as a 'brb'. At the same time, I've run into people worried that I was ignoring them because I didn't post a reply within 2mins time. I know I haven't been very social when it has come to online friends and I'm really trying to change that, but I'm having a weird time breaking back into it. It seems some people want a standard conversation while others want to just send a message between playing video game matches. Maybe they're trying to keep up with 16 different IMs at a time and are just making the rounds, who knows. I just honestly never feel like dragging out a conversation that should last about 5mins in short bursts over the course of 5 hours. I feel that I let some people down when I tell them this, and I don't mean to, but the only other option is to cancel everything else I was going to do so I can sit at my computer and wait for them to say something. I'm not entirely sure my own actions are perfect either. I go hidden 99% of the time I use messengers and I'm curious of people see this as being rude. I do it because I don't want to have more than a couple conversations going at a time. It also makes sure that I have something to talk about if I choose to talk to someone. A way to avoid the "hey what's up?" "Not much." "OK, cool." dead end that appears on occasion. Its probably selfish because I don't enjoy talking just to 'shoot the shit'. If it's something that matters, even if only to the other person, I'm in. Though when it's about the weather or just talking for the sake of talking, I can't get into it. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Devil Driver - I Dreamed I Died (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
11:24 pm	The Last Hurrah Last year I was in the hospital dealing with surgery and suffering. Now a year later I have a future again and my endless pain was removed. I went from recovery to planning and landed into a setting of laziness. It's weird to look back because it seems like maybe it wasn't so bad. Though whenever I see the expression on someone's face when I explain it, or recall exactly what I could or could not do in those times, I remember that I did go through a sort of hell. Still, it's basically over and it is time to move on. My future at the moment is work. The type of work doesn't matter, but I literally have to get off my ass and do something. The time for this is looking like mid December, until then I am going out with one last hurrah. One last binge of sleepless nights and moments completely void of responsibilities. I can not possibly express how much I will be playing both Gears of War 2 and the Wrath of the Lich King World of Warcraft expansion. I know I'm going to start by finishing Gears of War 2 with a friend I've had for 14 years, starting at midnight and going until we finish it, sleep be damned. I'll go psychotic on the multiplayer for six days until it is time for Warcraft. My "hope" is that I can go from the beginning of day 1 until the end of day 2 without sleep. That should give me a good leap ahead of the rest of the Death Knights so that leveling to 80 doesn't become congested. Once I hit 80 probably somewhere between 2-3 weeks, the hurrah is over and responsibility kicks in. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to give up video games... not even a little bit. However, I will be devoting serious time each and every day toward finding a job. Just about every cent is going to be going to college for programming, setting me back on track to an attempt at a normal life. Until then I'm going to enjoy the last of my unfortunate situation. Fallout 3 is carrying me away blissfully though the wait. I just voted for this country's first non-white president, who's victory gives me great hope for The United States. Not because of his skin, but because of his politics. I have personally had my fill of republicans. Life may not be perfect, but it's starting to finally look good again. This is looking to be the best month I've ever had in my life so far. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Devotchka - How it Ends (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 27th, 2008
10:42 pm	24 Years, 24 Things I turned 24 back on the 14th of this month. Been neglecting livejournal so I didn't really think to make a post. Since I haven't posted anything in the longest time, I figured in honor of turning 24, I would list 24 things about myself. All things current, even if a bit random. ( 24 List ) Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Ray - Whipass (Goose Remix) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 16th, 2008
11:40 pm	Goodbye to COS This Monday I should be registering for classes, but as a visit to the school's counselor proved today, it would be a waste of time. Actually, everything I've been doing at College of the Sequoias (COS) has been a waste of time. Since I am trying to get into programming everything they offer will bring me into the field slower and less efficiently as going directly to a 4-year that specializes in the field. Even if I was still going for psychology like I was, it looks like their degree was getting me nowhere even back then. So for the next year, maybe years, I'll be working. The job will likely suck but it's either that or just sit here and soak up Furtive's money. He and I worked out a flexible system to continue helping each other out, so right now it's all about bulking up our pool of funds so we can at least advance in some areas. We're looking at saving up for some sort of home and a new car before sending me back to a college that is worth a damn. I could have broken down so easily over this disaster, yet another thing that is causing me to be behind. As far as a career is concerned I am now at least 5 years behind where I should have been, about 2 of those being completely my fault and 3 due to medical issues. The situation sucks and it's stressful, but it's stressful because it's forcing change. I'll adapt and I'll be fine, Furtive and I both will be. Shit happens but it's important to focus on how to improve it than to just bitch and do nothing. Anyway, this is just a little update for those who wonder how I'm doing. I'll likely be in the same position for quite a while just earning as much money from a crap job as I can so I can finally stop the years from bleeding away. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Weezer - Pork and Beans (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 30th, 2008
1:07 am	Question for the Internet There, their, they're. Your & you're. Why is this so hard? Please explain the difficulty. Current Mood: curious Current Music: Portal - The Device Has Been Modified (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 15th, 2008
6:53 am	Best Buy Tournament I would really appreciate some opinions here, even if people only have time for a "go" or "don't go". Basically there is a Smash Bros. Brawl tournament on the 16th and I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not. Obviously I would love a tournament, but the problems are three-fold. Here's the short list for the tl;dr types. -Vague Rules -Big Time Investment -Finals Require Flying to New York http://arstechnica.com/journals/thumbs.ars/2008/02/14/get-your-super-smash-on-early-with-official-brawl-tournaments (#1.) The rules are vague if not non existent. Since the entire thing seems to be more about promotion than a test of skill, my guess is they are going to play time in place of stock. Not to mention that 256 people entering means they need to ensure that it ends as quickly as possible. While it doesn't effect me much as a Yoshi player, I would also guess that all hidden characters and stages will be unplayable, screwing over a lot of potential meaningful competition. (#2.) It's a huge time investment. We're talking 3-4 hour drive there and 3-4 hours back, plus it's first come first serve to 256 people which means lining up outside of the building for who knows how many hours. Not to mention the flight. (#3.) The tournament is really split into two with the final match being held in New York. Which means even if I clean up in California I still have to fly to New York where I could potentially lose and end up going home with a $250 Best Buy card. Hardly worth flying out for. So I need some opinions here. I have the game early, and I'm good at it. At first I was pretty excited about the whole thing, but the more I think about it the more problems I see. What are your thoughts? Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: No More Heroes - Pleather for Breakfast (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 7th, 2008
3:22 am	Dairantou Smash Brothers X Japanese Wii and Japanese Smash bros came in the mail today. Furtive says he hasn't seen me so excited about anything. I was surprised to see BOTH especially since they were bought on different days from different places. According to the game I have clocked in 8 hours, but I know it's a little more than that. I had to teach myself some Japanese just to get around the menus and such but now I have a firm grasp on everything I'll need. One big thing about this though is sacrifice. Furtive and I aren't exactly poor but we are living in my family home still and money can't just be wasted. So to make up for my Smash indulgence I am cutting out all movies and fast food for the month. It won't save hundreds, but it will save some of the difference on what I'll make when I sell this Wii. I am doing my best to keep it in near mint condition and I expect to make at least 2/3rds of my money back when I sell it with the Smash Bros disc. come March when the US gets the release. I'll be pouring my soul into this game for quite some time, so if you don't see me around then you probably know exactly what I'm doing. I won't say too much about the game other than I still need to get a feel for it even after playing it for hours on end. Almost all character move differently and I basically have to learn how to play Yoshi all over again. Tomorrow (technically later today) I hope to have all characters unlocked and get some Wi-Fi time in. The only problem is setting it up and when you don't know Japanese it's almost a nightmare. Luckily I have the American Wii to help me translate, I've drawn some pictures and learned how to read "yes" and "No" in Japanese. Maybe I'll actually learn something before this whole ordeal is over. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Background Smash (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
1:25 pm	Final Roster The past 36 hours or so have been chaos to anyone who's been following Brawl info, especially the "early" release of some Japanese games in Smash Bros Brawl. The info itself isn't quite as impressive as the craze that flooded the entire situation. Web traffic was so bad on some sites that they slowed or stopped working entirely. Brawlcentral.com is still dead and smashboards.com is still running slow. The only thing that I could reliably get information from was gamefaqs.com on their Brawl boards. Which are still going insane, you can literally spam your refresh button and see a entire new page worth of posts. Even Furtive, who isn't too big into Smash Bros was interested in that aspect of the chaos. So around 11pm on the 28th I check Brawl Central's page like had been doing religiously for the past few weeks. Obsession, remember? Then I see pictures and video that claim to be the intro of Brawl in Japan, it looked real and it was. Starting rosters soon followed, including their additions of hidden characters once they were unlocked. I followed this all night long until around 3am when I decided to go to bed. Just like I figured when I woke up most of everything was unlocked and posted. There were 34 characters total so far all with videos and various screen shots proving their existence. The 29th was about the 35th character and nothing else. About two weeks ago (maybe more) there were some people posting this 35man roster which some people dubbed the "Nightmare Roster". They viewed it as a nightmare not only because it only had 35 characters (most were hoping for 40ish) but because it didn't contain Ridley, Krystal, Geno, Midna, etc. However, it did include R.O.B.. which people were throwing a shit fit over because "some old NES robot" was taking the spot of what the majority felt could have been a more deserving character. The Nightmare Roster was now exactly the same as the actual roster the Japanese were playing, with one exception, Wolf. So the entire day all anyone was asking for or posting about was "Is Wolf the 35th character???" "Do they have Wolf yet?" "If it's anyone other than Wolf we have a shot at more than 35 characters" etc. etc. etc. Then when I wake up today I see images of Wolf posted as the 35th character, too many to be photoshoped. So now people are either accepting it or grumbling and bitching endlessly. My personal view has always been that I'll be playing Yoshi and every other character is just there to add variety to who I fight. I honestly expected more, but I can live with it. Now, for those rare few of you who might want to know where all the good info is, I'll provide some links to what I've seen. (Damn near every important image is in here, including spoilers) http://s259.photobucket.com/albums/hh286/KazeSSBB/ (These two YouTube accounts have most of the good videos and will likely acquire more) http://youtube.com/profile_videos?user=bdcool187 http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=StacMasterS ( Personal Note ) Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 18th, 2008
12:46 pm	Ready to Brawl This was supposed to be a 100x100 pixel image. I wanted a custom Yoshi avatar for myself when visiting all of the Super Smash Bros Brawl message boards. The problem was that none of the pixels I moved around seemed to make the image I was looking for, so I took up a pencil and paper and ended up with this. ( Full Image Behind Cut ) Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Thrice - Image of the Invisible (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
12:19 am	March 9th Delay I really don't know what I'm going to do until then and I really need some other shit to pass the time. What are the rest of you doing for entertainment? I don't care if it's game related or not, I need SOMETHING so I don't go crazy from boredom. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
11:20 pm	Smash Dreams Obsession scratches only the surface of my anticipation of Smash Bros Brawl. Their dojo site has been doing tiny little updates since may of '07 and I believe I've been around to see them all. I probably know somewhere around 97% of what's available out there in as great of detail as possible, so much that I can dream about playing the game and actually believe that I'm playing it, in detail. This has probably happened three times, a few nights ago I was playing it in a dream and I KNEW it was impossible, it's January, it's not out. I try and think about how I got it and even after my brain hits a wall of logic about how I can't possibly have it and this must be a dream, instead of waking up I can still go back to playing it. It's ridiculous, but it's also ridiculously fun! The problem is that I've been so bored lately with every other game. Too short, too repetitive, too easy, these are my complaints. As trivial as these complaints sound, let's not also forget how spoiled I am at this time, there's no point in denying it. Never the less I can't seem to figure out what I'm going to do for the next... what is it, 30-31 days? Feb. 10th feels so far away and I can't invoke those dreams every night. The thing is, most people in this situation would get the game when it comes out, then get bored of it after a short while and move to the next obsession. This won't be the case with me, I know I'll play this game damn near every day for years and years, less of course as time goes on but still a lot. Do you remember, or have you ever had that feeling? To be so entertained by something that you immerse yourself in it past when you should be asleep, right into the next day? I love that feeling and with college coming back into my life, this might be the last time I can irresponsibly enjoy it to the fullest. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Dead Rising - Mall Music 4 (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 30th, 2007
10:05 pm	All is Well Furtive got home last night from Chicago and my physical and mental stamina has pretty much recovered since the hospital. From here on out everything else can only improve, not the worst way to end a year right? Current Mood: good Current Music: Saint's Row - Likwit Junkies - Keep Doin it (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 10th, 2007
8:04 pm	So Where Did I Leave Off? I keep thinking about making a final post about the hospital but every time I think of it the material would be filled of mostly unpleasant-to-read paragraphs so I've put it on hold. So, Instead I'll just post about recent things. I have started being able to get out of bed for most of the day. I went from a few hours to half a day to most of the day. The only problem is that I get bored VERY EASILY and my focus is shot at various times. I can't seem to remember what it was I used to do every day here by myself that occupied so much time. So, I built a new sort of routine based on old memories and some things from the hospital. I read people's LJs off and on today, something I wanted to get back into regularly. The game Mass Effect seems to be the only one currently that can hold my attention for longer than an hour, so that's nice. Then when sitting up feels like too much I lay down and watch old MAD TV that are on Comedy Central's afternoon slot. I take two showers a day out of boredom and I spend (probably too much) a lot of time watching Netflix DVDs with Furtive when he comes home. That's it and it's really not enough. Kind of stunted on Warcraft and my mind is still too fuzzy for me to draw properly. In fact my mind feels kind of weird lately it sort of flickers or feels funny like a bad TV set. I don't know what thats about but I don't have pain, I'm not throwing up, and I am finally getting over being sick for a week. So I'm improving but I need another damn hobby so I don't go insane. I suppose I could take up talking to people "often" on messengers again but I honestly don't feel like I'd make the best conversationalist at the moment. Current Mood: fuzzy Current Music: AFI - Miss Murder (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
2:52 pm	Home Recovery Just a small update on things, I'm getting better very, VERY slowly. I've had fevers off and on since I got out of the hospital and I keep getting sick since my immune system is still weak. Today most of my symptoms are finally starting to fade. I still feel weak and I ache all over at times, not to mention it's been hard to focus on anything or just think normally. Every day I get a little bit better though. There are certain bothersome aspects to all of this still though, like all of the medications I have to take just so I can eat like a normal person. Plus it's weird as hell to have four strings just poking out of your body. The stitches are supposed to dissolve but I have no idea when and if I lay the wrong way they pull in a painful way. On top of all of this, I'm supposed to be filling out piles of paperwork for the hospital bills and applications for ways to pay for it or reasons why I shouldn't have to pay for it. The truth is I don't know the half of it because family members haven't been helping me with it, they've flat out been doing it for me. There's absolutely no way I could handle it myself when I have to take 2-3 naps per day just to function at a fraction of what I used to. Tomorrow I go to see my doctor and I believe turn in the finished paperwork. Both of my parent's have shown their true colors throughout this incident, especially my father who's been more helpful than I ever would have guessed. Then of course there's Furtive who's been nursing me back to health on a daily basis, the fox's love seems to have no limit. Current Mood: recovering Current Music: Dead Rising - The Evolutionaries - Slave (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
10:33 pm	Hospital Recovery Thanks to everyone for their kind words and well wishes for me while I was in the hospital. If you weren't able to say something I understand, I've missed out on so much that has been going on lately, if something happened to any of you I wouldn't have a clue. Which is partly why I've been considering asking people from my friend's list to possibly link me some of their posts. I would like to give some of you the same kindness in return and take an interest in your lives, but going back through a month of live journal seems like far too much at the moment. I've been out of the hospital for a couple days and only recently had enough mental energy to write some things down. I can keep things short since being in the hospital wasn't a very exciting experience. There was just lots of rest or attempts of rest. Every hour or so someone comes in the room and turns the big light on with the intention of injecting or taking something from you and it's pretty hard to sleep through the night with an IV and needles constantly poking into you. My arms look like those of a serious drug addict and I still have tape in places I probably won't get out for a week. Luckily I had Furtive come and see me pretty much every single day I was in the hospital, he did a marvelous job of taking care of me to the best of his ability. He even rigged his computer monitor with my game systems so I would have something to do in the hospital when I wasn't trying to rest between morphine doses. I'm still healing physically and mentally, my bandages haven't came all the way off yet and I'm very hesitant to mess with the big scabs until they sort of fall of on their own. My biggest task is being able to eat normal food without it troubling my stomach, I had no idea how big of a shock it is to your body when an organ is missing. It's as if my body has to learn how to process food all over again so I'm taking it very easy, had my first regular meal tonight in probably a month's time. Sad thing is that without my medication I wouldn't be able to keep it down, so hopefully when the meds run out I'll be able to function like I could before. Anyway, the biggest point is that I am recovering and getting better. It's good to be home with all of my normal surrounding and away from nurses and lights. Though some of them were very nice, there were those who you can tell didn't enjoy their job and they weren't exactly shy about letting that show. All that aside, thank you guys again for your support I won't forget it. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Breath of Fire 4 - Battling Gods (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 22nd, 2007
2:00 pm	Recovery Sorry I didn't update this sooner. Dogger's surgery was last Wednesday. It went fine except it took longer than anticipated due to how big his gallstones were and how swollen the gallbladder was. He is still in the hospital on an IV diet. His pancreas still hasn't settled down enough for him to eat solid foods yet. This is mostly due to how sick he was before his surgery. Thanks for all of your concern. He greatly appreciates all your thoughts and concern. Hopefully he will be back to his old self soon and back home. ~Furtive (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
1:23 pm	Surgery Dogger is getting his Gallbladder removed at approximately 3:00 PM today. They gave him a few days to let all his enzyme levels get back to a normal level and pumped him full of plasma and lots of other fluids to make him ready for surgery today. Thanks again for all your well wishes. I've relayed them all to him over the past few days. Also, I'm posting this to his journal instead of my own because his friends list is different from mine and I figured it would be more appropriate. I'm sure he will have quite a post of his own once he is back home. ~Furtive (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 11th, 2007
2:22 am	Update For all of those that have been keeping up with Dogger's condition. We brought him to the ER for the third time today with the same problems. Well thankfully we finally have an answer. It seems he has gallstones and his gallbladder will need to be removed. He was admitted just a few hours ago and in a few days when the irritation in his belly calms down they will proceed with the surgery. Thanks everyone for all your constructive comments and keeping him in your thoughts. ~Furtive (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
6:48 am	I Need Help .... It's Not Over Though my back pain has settled I'm having another serious problem still. Ever since I got out of the hospital I was still throwing up every day or every other day, It's happening again more and more frequently. My sleep got cut in half and now I can't always keep down water, I'm worried it's going to be day 14 all over again which would put me back in the hospital in under 24 hours from now. I took the medications they gave me but they're running low, I can't keep down jello, baby food, or any excess of liquids without feeling sick under an hour later. I need something, anything. Advice perhaps, ways to settle my stomach with over the counter meds. I'm working on a doctor's visit and my father is "considering" getting me insurance. What I'm lacking right now is knowledge on how to deal with all of this, anything anyone can suggest will help. I just need to figure out how to keep myself fed, hydrated, and alive. It feels like my body is trying to kill me. _____ EDIT: _____ According to the doctor visit, the pain meds have been slowly destroying my liver and it is now damaged. I should be fine if I stop taking them for 6 weeks. What that also means is that I'm about to be tortured for 6 weeks so don't expect me to be in contact with anyone online for quite a while. Current Mood: sore Current Music: The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black (6 Comments |Comment on this)