Current mood:	worried
Current music:	Smashing Pumpkins - Tarantula

That gut feeling...
My back pain has transformed into stomach pain. On the ride to Blizzcon on the beginning of the 3rd when it was still dark I felt it for the first time. I felt it again durring Blizzcon on the night of the 3rd. Then not again until last night, on the 7th. The muscle spasms hadn't been that brutal since the first one. Over two years later I'm still having problems and still no doctor can tell me what is going on. I'm without insurance now that I'm 23, trying to figure out the disability thing so I can get myself on it. I'm worried that it's getting worse, if my back and my stomach locked up at the same time I'm not sure how I could handle it. It's like receiving a punch to the gut so powerful it knocks the wind out. I can still breathe but I was in horrible pain for a half hour before my meds kicked in.

I'm writing this as an update and as a reminder for myself if I need to go back and check on exactly when this new symptom happened. Days like yesterday I wonder what I'm going to do and in times like that it really makes me wonder if I'm going to die. It feels like something may have burst, what is a person supposed to think when they feel a pain stronger than anything ever experienced before? Hopefully in a couple months from now I'll be on disability and someone will have some sort of idea what is wrong and a bit of light shining on how to fix it. Right now though I think I actually might be experiencing the worst days of my life and it is such a struggle to try and enjoy life in this state. I am just trying to do the best that I can.